No, this is not my review of the new Dream Theater album, “The Astonishing.” I don’t see how anyone could have an accurate opinion of 131 minutes of music after a day. Yet that hasn’t stopped people from either declaring their love for the album or just taking a big shit all over it.

How the fuck can anyone make a decision that quickly? If you aren’t a Dream Theater fan, I get it though. This album is NOT going to win over new fans. But if you ever were a fan, I just can’t see how you can decide after one listen or LESS that you don’t like it.

When I was 6 years old, I didn’t like liver before I tried it. Granted, I hated it after I tried it but at least I was forced to give it a shot. This album will definitely divide the fans. But to call it “the same old thing” as I have seen just indicates someone did not actually listen to the album at all.

If you legitimately don’t like it after a few spins, I can totally get it. But don’t claim they are going through the motions or just doing what they always have done. That just shows you are ignorant. You weren’t wronged by the band, you just lack the patience for what they are doing. Bye Felicia!

I will say that the second listen was better than the first and so on. The story is just that and if you hate stories (I normally do), then it makes sense that you will find this one cheesy. But that’s on you and not them. I hated “Train of Thought” BUT I understand that Dream Theater needed to take a risk with it. I am glad they did, versus doing the same thing again and again (see SC or BC&SL).

“The Astonishing” is a risk. I’ll let you know if I think it paid off. Soon.